Self-Publishing. Also, I'm a Liar.

Self-publishing vs. traditional publishing. It's a time-honored debate in the writing industry. It's not one I should be worrying about, considering I haven't really written anything yet. But I'm not so good with the concept of, like, "logic."

I will never self-publish. Not for some silly reason having to do with some industry bias against people who self-publish--it's because I wouldn't want to spend time trying to design an epic cover, or copyediting, or typesetting, or making sure the margins are the right size, or all those other technical things, when I could be writing. Or REVISING. And REVISING. And... oh, yeah. REVISING.

Also, my self-promotional/marketing skills are, I'm pretty sure, nil. So that would be a bit of an issue. Also, self-publishing is very much a business, and I'm sure my business-management skillz are pretty much right in the "nil" category with my self-promo skills.

But mostly the cover thing. Srsly. (Not a typo. I mean, not not on purpose. That's also not a typo.)

This post was a lot funnier in my head.

I apparently lied. I DO have access to a scanner. Well, okay, I didn't lie--MY printer/scanner/copier/wondermachine is packed away. However, we apparently have not one but two scanners functioning downstairs. So, I present to you: pictures of jewelry. That have nothing to do with writing. YAY!

Matching necklace/earring set. First thing I've made to include beads with matte finish, incidentally. ...Actually, I don't know why I just wrote "incidentally." I do not believe there was reasonable cause to write "incidentally." Y'know what? It's my caption. I don't care. I'll write "incidentally" if I want to, dangit!

Tie pin. No, really. I promise that's what this is.

[Okay, yeah, these pictures aren't much better than what I got from my camera, but they're the best I could do, and I want to INDULGE, dangit!]

Oh, and as a side note--I'm thinking of ditching the 2,321 words I've written so far and rewriting from the beginning now that I have a slightly clearer sense of what's happening in the story. Which is totally not related to the supposed subject of this post at all, but whatever. I made pretty jewelry, so I laugh at logic.

Logic? HA! HA! HA! HAHAHAHA!

Ahem.

On Chain Maille... and Life.

I'm back. Again. Because I seriously don't know when to call a blog truly "dead."

Oh, well.

This week, I wrote 2,321 words. Yayness! This is not a great wordcount for a whole week, but considering I really only wrote two days (Thursday and Saturday), I call that good. Also, I haven't written even a thousand words since school let out and I graduated (SQUEE!) back at the end of May, so I've kind of gotten out of practice.

Also, my camera really sucks at taking pictures of jewelry. I'd thought to post some pics of the necklace/earring set and tie pin I made for some family friends, just to have pictures and also to totally showcase my amateur jewelry-making skillz, but my camera really, really doesn't like to take non-blurry pictures of things. Also, the jewelry is too small. I've heard scanning jewelry can make for some awesome-quality pictures, but my printer/scanner/copier/machineofAWESOME is currently packed. Bugger.

Also, Half Persian 3-1 chain maille weave, I loathe you with all the passion of ten fiery, burning stars. Stupid weave. Why won't the stupid jump rings line up right??? Gaaarh.

Also, Scherzo chain maille weave, I love you with all the passion of ten fiery, burning stars, but why oh why won't you work with 6mm and 4mm jump rings from Hobby Lobby? Why? What did I ever do to you?? *cries*

Also, Hobby Lobby, why are you so bloody expensive?

Why, yes, I am kind of a beading/chain mailling nerd wannabe. Why do you ask?

And, in other news... PENGUINS.

Also, "chain maille" is totally not a typo.

That is all.

Fruit Can Totally Mummify. For Reals.

I found a mummified kiwi yesterday noon-ish.

I am totally not making this up. Also, I have pictographic evidence. Photographic. Eh, "pictographic" sounds cooler, and also it is apparently a word because Firefox didn't give me the angry red line, even though it totally gave me the angry red line for "didn't" before I added the T even though "didn't" is totally a word.

Ahem. Pictorial evidence. (Apparently, that is also a word. Actually, I think I already knew that...)

Mummified Kiwi, FTW

Also, FTW is not a word. But I really hope everyone knew that already.

No, I did not just get on to post pictures and no story. So, here is the pathetic excuse for a story that goes along with the delightful mummified kiwi.

I was hanging out in the front yard, putting off working on my novel (which reminds me I need to update the word counter), and basically digging around in the dirt because our front yard has awesome stuff like abandoned snail shells and pieces of glass and also a giant bolt that I think came out of the push-mower we borrowed from some people last summer. Anyway, I came upon this... thing. I had no freaking clue what it was. I didn't want to touch it, either. But I wanted to know what it was 'cause I'm morbidly curious like that. So I poked it with a stick.

...yes. That is the normal response. Don't know what a strange object in the lawn is? Poke it with a stick! That answers all of life's questions!

Except this one. The stick broke, because we're still technically in winter and it snowed a few days ago so the stupid stick was wet and dead and just generally fragile. Still afraid to touch it, I lifted it with two sticks and brought it over near a rock I had stuck in the ground a few minutes prior. Don't judge me.

The dirt was, unfortunately, the only surface within reach of that rock, and each time I tried to poke the thing, it just got more dirt on it. So, I re-relocated it, this time to a larger rock on the lawn.

At this point, I decided trying to break open a strange organic object whose outer covering resembled leather with a rock and a stick simply wasn't going to cut it. Thus, I touched it. With my actual hands. Not, like, fake hands; unfortunately, I do not have a pair of fake hands. I would love some, assuming they didn't replace my real hands, not least because I enjoy discovering stuff in the dirt and some of that stuff is just too gross to touch with real hands.

I digress.

I still could not figure out what it was, so I continued my attempts to open it, since at this time I'd decided it would be better to dissect it than just to poke it with a rock. I peeled it, hoping the leathery outer layer would just be, say, layers of rotten plaster-cloth-stuff and eventually I would get to the center. Well, no such luck. Then I thought, what if it's an animal or bug of some sort, and I get it open and touch bug ichor? That thought disgusted me enough that I went back to the rock.

(If I thought it really *was* an animal, or a living thing in general, I would not have continued my attempts to open it. However, if it had been alive, it was dead by this point, and also I was pretty sure I'd seen this thing before last summer, so it was safe to assume it was very, very dead, or a plant.)

Long story short--well, actually, no, 'cause really this took two seconds or so--the thing opened, spewing forth the most marvelously disgusting green ichor. (I love that word. Firefox has decided it's not a word when followed by a period. However, the first time I typed it, followed by a question mark, Firefox failed to point it out with its red squiggly line of FAIL. Now it underlines it whether it's followed by a question mark or not. Way to exhibit selective spelling racism, Firefox!)

In the end, I decided it was a mummified kiwi. This is the only conclusion that makes sense. Why? The thing is the approximate size of a kiwi, and its innards were green. That is hard-boiled PROOF, peeps!

Anyway, I will post a picture of this marvelously disgusting goop, because I feel like people today haven't been scarred enough by life yet. You're welcome.

I just realized you can't really see the goop, because it totally looks like part of the rock. Oh, well.

And yes, I was being sarcastic.

Update: Even though I actually wrote in the post that I needed to update the word counter... I forgot. Bad Lilli. I'll go do that now.

I'm Insane. I Have Proof.

I’m reviving the blog again.

You know the definition of insanity? Doing something over and over again, expecting different results? This describes me and blogging. I am insane. When it comes to blogs. What is that, blog-sane? Wait, that sounds like the opposite. Bligsane?

…ahem. Right. Let’s not even dignify that one with a comment.

So, me and my lovely ramblings are back, and we’re here to stay. At least, we’re staying until I latch on to some other shiny new project idea. Or until AP homework finally manages to crush me to death under the sheer weight of paper.

That latter option? More likely.

And we are totally going to start posting pictures. Because statistics say that helps blogs. No, I don’t remember where I read that. Yes, there is the possibility I pulled those stats from behind my ears just now. No, I don’t particularly care how authentic they are.

Picture time!!

Flower Arch of DOOM

Wow. I just realized I suck at photographing stuff. My self-esteem totally just took a hit.

A Writerly Survey

I found this survey from Creative A over at *Headdesk* ages and ages ago, and it was so interesting and writerly that I figured I'd try it out. (About time it got posted, too; this thing's been burning a hole in my post list for the longest time. Lots of answers to change.)

1) What’s the last thing you wrote? What’s the first thing you wrote that you still have?

The last thing I wrote would be... well... I wouldn't call it necessarily a short story, but at the same time, it kinda is... see, it's a letter, but there's kind of a story between the lines. Hard to explain, really, and it's something that is definitely drafty, but I think I'll end up fixing it up for... something. The only good thing I've gotten from my "honors" language arts program in two years, actually--it's from a class prompt.
The first thing I wrote that *I* still have is my crappy 20-something-k novella. It's technically an accomplishment, because I finished it. But at the same time, it sucks. Now, my mom probably has my handwriting practice sheets from kindergarten somewhere. If I toss a story, she saves it... that's kind of how things work at my house.

2) Write poetry?

Only for a class, and then very reluctantly. I don't like poetry. I don't like rhymes, and my free verse pretty much sucks. The poems I like invariably end up classified as "suckish" by anyone I show them to. I don't mind so much, though; I prefer prose.

3) Angsty poetry?

Nope. Well, I don't think so. Maybe sometimes if the assignment was a sad topic. But I'm not one to write about my personal life, and I like to think I don't angst too much about things other than myself. Although, some of my earlier prose writing is packed with layer upon layer of melodrama, which may conceal angst.

I mean, I'm sure I've written angst before, but I'm not exactly sure how to identify my own writing as such.

4) Favorite genre of writing?

Fantasy. I love to worldbuild and I love magic and supernatural things. About 95% of my stories are fantasy, 2.5% are science fiction, and the rest is what I term "realistic fiction," by which I mean it takes place on Earth with no paranormal elements.

5) Most annoying character you’ve ever created?

On the page, I'd have to say The Summoner, a lady who never summoned anything, talked in a weird accent, and never actually moved the plot forward. She's annoying because she's flat and crappily drawn, which bugs me. (She also inhabits that crappy novella of mine...)

Off the page, I've got two. They're twins, fraternal, brother and sister, and they never go away. I've pretty much decided I'll never be able to write their story because I don't know what it is. They just pop up everywhere. They've been in so many plots it's not funny. And they never rest. It's like it's their life's goal to force me to write nothing but the crap they shove down my throat for the rest of my life.

6) Best plot you’ve ever created?

I don't create plots. Plots require endings. ...well... Actually, I had this really complicated plot once for a book called THE RISE OF THE PHOENIX, which I'm semi-proud of because it was so complicated and yet I planned it from beginning to end. I never did write it, though. (And never will, because I was, like, nine at the time, and it sucks.)

I've never really plotted anything I liked, to be honest. The one time I wrote with a full outline, the stupid thing morphed beyond recognition within 2k.
7) Coolest plot twist you’ve ever created?

Eh... heh... I hardly ever get far enough to make the twists plot. I mean the plots twist. I guess I'd say the one in FOUR VISIONS where one of the four "victims" of this one thing turns out to be working with the runners of the thing.

Ah! Hah! Look at the vague!

8 ) How often do you get writer’s block?

I no longer believe in writer's block. I have issues from time to time as far as starting things goes. Sometimes I don't know what's going to happen next, but even those don't develop into full-fledged blocks. I can spend up to an hour and a half trying to start a writing session, though, during which time I may try out a good three dozen versions of a sentence or paragraph.

But I don't believe in writer's block. It's possible to break a block by forcing yourself to write, even if you'll have to edit the crap out of it later. (This is DESPITE what the *cough*slackers*cough* in my creative writing class claim.)

9) Write fan fiction?

Used to. I started out writing original stuff, switched to fan fiction for awhile, then switched back to my own stuff. I still fantasize about fan fiction if my own stuff is going really badly, but I haven't written any for a good five, six years.

Funnily enough, I never really wrote fanfics about books. It was always focused around video games. Huh. I wonder what that says about me...

10) Do you type or write by hand?

I write longhand if I can't get to a computer, but I still firmly believe that my best stuff comes from the keyboard. I type a lot faster than I write longhand, and I usually feel freer to make little experimental side-trips when I type because I don't feel like I run the danger of forgetting what's supposed to happen in the end.

11) Do you save everything you write?

Yes. Occasionally I toss something, but for the most part it all gets saved somewhere. I have yet to lose something due to computer crashes, though, which is really just dumb luck. I came (-) this close to losing a 30k draft due to file corruption, but I still have the draft because I just so happened to print the thing right before it corrupted. Dumb luck, indeed.

12) Do you ever go back to an idea after you’ve abandoned it?

Absolutely. I jump from project to project, and old projects come back as often as new ones come in. It's rather annoying, actually.

The most memorable project, I think, came from a WIP I can't think of a suitable title for. Let's call it NORTHERN for now. I'd completely forgotten about it. One day I was daydreaming some scene about a guy about to be killed when this little girl runs in and gives herself up to save his life. Much to my surprise, when the guy yelled at her to stop (like it would make any difference at that point), the name he called her was the name of the female MC in NORTHERN. Of course, everything had changed in the story, but it was essentially the same project.

13) What’s your favorite thing you’ve ever written?

Ah, right now I think it's that opening scene from THIRTEENTH HELL. I really love Jaina, the main character. She has a sense of humor that I really enjoy, though it's not over-the-top. Rather, it's a bit dry at times. But she calls the guy who kidnaps her "Muffin." I still crack up over that, even though it's a bit... well... meh.

14) What’s everyone else’s favorite story you’ve written?

Um, that would have to be my failed NaNo from 2009, I think, for the sole reason that it's pretty much the only thing I've shown to anyone else over the last year or two, where I think my writing has improved the most. (That would be the 30k lost to corruption, for what it's worth.)

15) Ever written romance or angsty teen drama?

No. I hate romance, and I get enough of the angsty teen drama in my life (I'm currently a teen, and all my friends are teens, and the people at my school are so loud one can't help but hear everyone else's angst in the halls and things) that I don't want to write it. That's not to say I never write angst, but it's not of the "my life sucks so much everyone hates me no one understands me" variety. (I get enough of that in my head and at school, thanks much.)

16) What’s your favorite setting for your characters?

Wild areas, definitely. I don't get to write those sorts of places much, though, because I rarely get to scenes in stories and such that take place outside of a settled area. Also, I'm sure I don't do such places justice when I do write about them.

17) How many writing projects are you working on right now?

I'm working very hard to ignore my lovely SNI (Shiny New Idea) and focus on my pretty-well-but-not-quite-completely-developed SEVENTH MAGIC project, but I'm failing. I'm trying not to get sucked into working on two projects at once, but... at the same time, I think it might be an interesting exercise to try out.

18) Have you ever won an award for your writing?

Nope. I've been nominated for a school-related writing award, but those results won't come until this September or so.

19) What are your five favorite words?

Baleful, obfuscate, fate*, moor, echolocation.

*This is strictly due to sound. I despise fate in real life and literature. Too often, people take it as an excuse for just sitting back and doing nothing and letting stuff happen to them because "it's FATE this has to turn out this way." Ugh. Cry me a bloody angsty river already.

20) What character have you created that is most like yourself?

Rachael, I think, from FOUR VISIONS. I didn't realize how much she acted like me (or, at least, the parts of me that I consciously recognize) until someone mentioned that she seemed a lot like me. I definitely wasn't going for that, though, and that aspect of the character really bugs me.

21) Where do you get your ideas for your characters?

They appear, usually with a name, with a personality fully formed. I rarely have to try to explore my characters. The problems with characters that I run into stem from the fact that their dimensions don't always translate properly onto the page.

22) Do you ever write based on your dreams?

Yes. Almost always. Most of my favorite stories came from dreams. DREAMERS did, and NORTHERN, and TIMELINE*, and a good many others that haven't gotten titles or anything yet.

*I actually don't remember what this project is. This answer has been preserved from when I first wrote this post manymany months ago. Go figure.

23) Do you favor happy endings?

I wouldn't know. I never get to the end. Usually, the stuff I finish ends well for the "good guys." I don't think I've ever written anything that ends badly for the protagonist(s).

Oh. Well. Maybe I have. A short story ends with the death of the POV character. But I don't really think of either character from that particular story to be any sort of "good guy" or "protagonist" because, well, they're both vampires. And I hate vampires. But they demanded I write their story, so... ugh.

24) Are you concerned with spelling and grammar as you write?

Not consciously. I'm one of those freaks who can pound out perfect spelling and grammar without thinking about it. I catch almost every typo. This doesn't really affect my writing speed. I like it, because editing for grammar drives me nuts. I have friends who think I'm obligated to check their grammar, and friends who give me stuff and ask me to check grammar, and while I don't mind helping friends out, grammar checking is tedious and thankless and no one seems to implement even half of what I correct anyway. It'd be doubly annoying if I had to do it on my own stuff.

25) Does music help you write?

Yes. Until recently, I couldn't write while listening to music with lyrics, but now I can listen to any song and still be able to write. The problem with lyric music now is that sometimes I'd rather sing than write, and it sort of tends to show.

Oh, but an exception to the past lyric music rule: about three years ago, I think, I got the idea for SEVENTH MAGIC* and the soundtrack for Wicked within the same week, and proceeded to listen to Wicked while writing SEVENTH MAGIC, especially the song "No Good Deed." Now, I can't listen to a song from Wicked without feeling a certain measure of guilt for not yet having finished SEVENTH MAGIC. Sheesh. How many times can I plug in my own book's title?

*The very first idea, which bears only a vague resemblance to the current incarnation.

26) Quote something you’ve written. Whatever pops in your head.

I've got several I can think of. Here goes.

1. He was... cute, I guess, but not the kind girls go all giggly over.

2. Death hurts. A lot. I should know--I've done it three times. Died, I mean.

3. I picked the legwarmer up with metal tongs, because there was no way I wanted to touch a possessed object with my bare hands.

4. Biker-looking guy. Pink, green polka-dotted, possessed legwarmer. A toy poodle named Blitzkrieg. Yes, this was going to be one of "those" cases.

It's Just a Question of Clarity!

Clarity--or, rather, the lack thereof--really bugs me.

Now, since this is a writing blog, I will briefly assert that this post was inspired by writing.

And now, since I try to be more honest than that, I will admit that it was actually inspired by romanized Japanese. Oh, but, hey! That is, technically, writing, as it is, technically, written down, right? Right??

Clarity is something that some pieces of writing lack, to great effect. Other pieces lack the same, to a less-than-stellar effect. I'd like to wax philosophical on this, but the fact is, clarity is something I don't really get. I think that, for writers, clarity is something you can really only monitor and adjust the levels of through an outside reader's eyes. After all, as the writer, you know--or should know--the basics of everything you put on the page. Armed with that knowledge, the writer cannot always see--in fact, hardly ever sees--places where the clarity is lacking.

So, the moral of that is: beta/outside readers are ABSOLUTEly essential to understandable WRITE-ing.

No. No subliminal messages in this post. What, what, you think I'm that clever? (You could, of course, answer this in the affirmative. I won't complain!)

Just a small, token rant on what inspired this post: romanized Japanese.

First off, why wouldn't you at least learn the phonetic alphabet, if you wanted to learn Japanese? This makes no sense to me. It's like... like... eating cake intravenously. I mean, what's the point? How much of the culture can you really absorb, if you won't even learn the writing? Even the most reluctant, hard-headed, stubborn idiots in my first-level Japanese class picked up on the phonetic writing system in, like, a month, so any normal person should be able to do the same.

Second, if you are going to romanize any writing you do, why not do so in such a way that people reading can use to, say, learn the proper spelling of the words you use? Granted, this is only problematic when you consider elongated "o"s and "tsu" with a dakuten, but...

Well, I suppose, if you're not trying to teach a part of the language to people, it doesn't really matter what romanization system you use, but...

See, there are two ways to elongate the "o" sound: using the character represented by "u," and using the character represented by "o." Sometimes, the word can be completely changed by switching the elongation method. But, there are two ways I've seen to romanize Japanese words that do not allow a person to be sure of which way it goes.

Example One: one system indicates elongation by putting a line over the "o" (I have no idea how to write this on Blogger, or I'd put a better rendering).

Example Two: one system indicates elongation by putting an "oo", with no distinction between the "u" and the "o" method of elongation.

In both cases, a student of Japanese wishing to know how to render the word in kana can, at most, be reasonably sure of the elongation method.

For the "tsu" with a dakuten, the sound is pretty much always represented as "zu," which is identical to the representation for a completely different character.

Right. See what I mean about clarity?

...this has been a rant by example.

...Did *What* Now??

Picture this: You just watched a teacher you really, really dislike transform into a cobra the size of an apartment building. It is now trying to eat you. So, you turn on your heels and run. So far, natural response, right?

Now, your phone rings.

Do you: A) keep running; B) chuck the phone at the snake, hoping it'll decide it likes phone innards better than people guts; or C) answer the phone?

Well, if you tend towards the saner, smarter end of humanity, you probably picked either A or B. Only an idiot would pick C, right? I mean, avoiding the giant snake-monster would probably take precedence over answering the cell.

Apparently not everyone thinks so, because the character in the show I just ever-so-subtly described answered the probably non-lethal phone.

At this point, I totally missed everything the person on the other line said, because in my head I was going, "What the blazingflyingdefecating flying trout is this?" This thought took pretty much the entire phone conversation to complete, because, being opposed to cussing on general principle, I can't just think "What the ****?" and be done with it.

Who in their right minds takes the phone over avoiding death by cobra stomach acid?

This sort of idiocy jars me out of the story, whether it be a movie, TV show, or book. Well, I have yet to see something on such a giant-snake scale in a book, but I imagine an occurence like that would cause me to hurl the offending book against the wall, or the ceiling, thus ruining the popcorn stuff and sending asbestos raining down on my head, which would not be a good thing. (But again I digress. Ooh! Bug!)

How does everyone else react to illogical character reactions? Does it result in a blank screen or a dented wall? Or are you more forgiving than I am?

Or, in this phone-centric age, would it actually be more natural to pick the phone over the snake? Honestly, I'm not entirely sure I'd be surprised if this were the case.