Aaaand... Quick Update

'Cause I know the whole Internet's just waiting with bated breath to hear the latest in my ongoing non-exploits. *crickets*

Ahem. Anyway.

Yesterday, I wrote 154 words. All world-building. None horrible, none too great. Some which can't possibly be correct because of certain world-building details, but I honestly haven't done any in-advance world-building on this project yet so that and more is kind of to be expected.

Bottom line, I got the first (non-badly-written in Japanese) words on this or any project for the first time since the twentieth of December, and I'm feeling pretty good about it. I love writing. I'm just also absolutely freaking terrified of it. Why? No idea. Maybe the act of writing itself worries me--I do tend to get pretty wrung-out, emotionally, just from writing, even the not-tense-at-all scenes. Maybe I'm scared of failure. I mean, failure's scary. I know I'm scared of commitment, and I believe I may have a problem with getting close to my characters--emotional intimacy issues rearing their ugly heads. Again.

And, there's this fancy little thing called Club 100. I don't know much about it beyond what I've read on AW, though what I do know involves writing 100 words a day, every day. I think that's a good philosophy to adopt. So, I'm going to try that. How well will that work out? We'll see, but I'm hoping I can achieve some sort of consistency with this. Maybe. I'd love to be able to say I'm a consistent writer, and not claim to be a writer and then have to admit the sight of a blank page scares me so much I don't actually write anything.

Sometime soon I want to investigate the actual "rules" of this Club 100, but for now I'm just settling for my own personal goal of 100 words before I can sleep at night. Period. Sheesh, at this point I'd even settle just for typing out the numbers one to one hundred... okay, maybe not that desperate for wordage, but I'm definitely getting there.

I wonder if there's any irony in the fact I can blather on and on and on in a casual email or a blog post, and yet I can barely manage to write, and when I do, it's all minimalist description. (Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but sometimes I worry about my average exposition-to-dialogue ratio...)